Forsooth, I am lazy.

I'm even procrastinating writing this blog post.

I've just has my first mock exam today. English. God it was awful. I sat there, suppressing my panic trying to find things to write about.

A students life is about 99.9% bullshitting their way through their homework and exams. Honestly, I don't think anything I wrote down was even remotely important.

Revising is also the bane of my existence. I was given an A style answer to read through and to help with ideas etc. How can it help when I can't even read it?

I mean, honestly. Look at that. Look. At. That! 

At this moment in time, I'm binge watching my box set of Miranda when I need to be doing serious revision for my Sociology mock tomorrow. We have to remember 50 theories from different sociologists. How in the world am I supposed to remember 50 different theories when I can't even remember what day it is?

I'm in major melt down mode, yet my brain insists on me not doing anything about it.

Damn exams. Damn revision. Damn Miranda for being more interesting.

Okay. Deep breaths. I'm going to do the correct, British thing and go have a cup of tea before I get myself all worked up, then come back and cry over my Sociology text book.

It's almost Christmas.

With three more days until Christmas, I find myself bereft of Christmas spirit.

I stopped believing in Santa when I was about 11 but only now have I started to feel as if Christmas is something that only happens on one day, and not for the majority of the month.

I don't feel as if I've lost the "magic of Christmas" because I know I'll feel it when the day actually arrives, but it makes me wonder if this is how I'll always feel about Christmas from now on.

It'll make the day precious and i'll have to seize it by spending all I can of it with family and the friends I hold most dear. But also to not be sad on the day, but to make sure everyone else if happy too. Not to mention the gifts and how I have to get the right thing for the right person so as not to spoil their precious day, which is hard to do when you've just become old enough for a job and no one wants to employ you.

Maybe it's the stress of the fact that the first day back at school, I have mocks for subjects I don't feel I know enough about. Maybe that's the reason I can't properly focus on what I want to focus on... Or maybe it's because I can't get all those shitty Frozen songs out of my head. (Who even decided Frozen was a good idea anyway?)

I'm sat in my dining room, with a twinkling Christmas tree and a burning log fire with a cup of tea and a box of Quality Street and in between wrapping presents, I'm writing this post. This is as bloody Christmas-y as it gets and there's still nothing.

I don't want to leave you on a bad note, so i'm going to tell you some of my favourite things about Christmas:

• The smell of a real pine tree
• The pops and crackles of the log fire
•  The smell of the turkey slow cooking in the oven when you wake up on Christmas day
• The sound of rustling wrapping paper just before someone opens their gift
• The positive reaction of said person opening a gift you've worked hard on choosing/making
• The bokeh effect of Christmas tree lights when you don't have your glasses on and stand from a far distance
• Getting excited when you wake up one morning and check your letter box and find Christmas cards from your loved ones.

I'll hopefully update soon and tell you how everything pans out.